The bright sun shines on this glorious weed
Captivating children with glee
They gather and bunch the green reeds
To present to mothers from thine to thee
Until the sun doth set and white entwines
The fluffy petals to seeds of light
That winter moon doth shine
Upon and blowing winds set a flight
Have you ever felt “blah”. Like everything is gray. That’s me lately. I can’t seem to get up enthusiasm for anything. I just want to curl up in bed and read or watch TV. I just want to cry. Truthfully, I don’t know what I want. I have no life goals. No big ideas. I am just here. I get up in the morning, get the kids to school, get myself to work, dredge through the day, get the kids from school, get home and feed them or take them to events, sometimes have a meeting of my own, then go to bed. Just to do the same thing all over the next day. Where is my vitality? Where is my spirit? Where is my fun? I seem to have lost my drive. I try to keep up appearances for my children, but it is SO hard, and I know it’s affecting them. I know it’s affecting my husband. So how do I stop it? How do I get that drive back?
A dinosaur and dragon
Dance across the blue sky
As a dolphin dives over a daisy
And a ghostly goat
Floats through a gate
Of gooey gingerbread.
So, I have struggled with depression for over half of my life. Even spent some time in the hospital battling my demons. I’ll have times where I’m doing really well, and then times where it just feels like nothing can go right. Currently, I am in the “nothing can go right” mentality, and I wish I could just snap out of it, but I just can’t seem to. All I want to do is curl up and read my books or sleep. Even playing with my kids is a chore, and I find myself short-tempered with them A LOT.
The only thing that seems to help is when I give MYSELF a time out. This gives me a chance to regroup and face my family again. Unfortunately, my family doesn’t always let me have this time. I think my husband has realized that something needs to give though because last night, he put me in TIME OUT.
I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!!
A din lives and sings in my head,
Colliding with a fantasy
Of a slippery, green chameleon
That blends with the dark tapestry
Casting shadows over my eye.
The other day, my son decided he did not want to come inside. My husband wanted to mow the lawn, and he didn’t want our son in the way, so he brought him inside. For the entire time that my husband was mowing the lawn, our son was laying on the floor by the door throwing a temper tantrum, screaming that he wanted to go outside. I tried to bribe him with a sucker to get him off the floor, to no avail. HE WANTED OUTSIDE!
Finally, I just let him be, keeping an eye on him to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. Now, we had a friend over at the time, and all I could think was that she must think I’m a terrible mother, just letting my son thrash around on the floor like that throwing a tantrum. It took A LONG TIME, but finally he started quieting down, and I was able to get him to sit in my lap with a sucker. Tantrum complete!
Now, I have heard several different things when it comes to children throwing tantrums, and at one point in time, I have tried them all. But it is hard!!!! I would be grateful for any suggestions or recommendations from other mothers out there!
My daughter has recently discovered her feet. Normally a happy girl, when her feet are free, she is downright giddy! Giggles escape as she tries to reach her foot to her mouth.
As I was watching her this morning, it amazed me how she could contort in such a way that she could actually suck on her toes. I can’t even imagine being that flexible! (Though I’m sure my husband would love it if I was.)
I am trying to capture this adorable sight on film so that I can show her when she’s older. Maybe I’ll post it at her graduation party!